Sunday, April 08, 2007
I have coined the "Mis-life".
while cleaning up the room before taking off for another country , I was going through some old memorablia - those old fashioned scrapbooks of childhood , when we used to sign autographs for our friends to remember. I had one of those too. And there where questions on the pages for the person to answer. Most of the questions where answered in the youthful glee of optimism and humour , some genuine , others to cover up for the pain of parting.
yet the questions are more philosophical than that. "What is your most embarrassing moment?" , it asks. I don't truly remember what witty repertoires I must've signed on that question.But , maybe each moment of my self-discovery is more embarrassing than the previous.
"Do you have any regrets in life?" , it asks. I didn't then. I have a list now. Poignant with historical background of my life , I have to come to terms with all the mistakes I have made. Those were costly mistakes . Mistakes for which I continue to serve term. And maybe I always will.
It's a little odd that when for every trial there's a "mistrial" , when for every fire there's a "misfire" , but then there's no word to describe of what can be called my "mislife". A life that's gone horribly wrong. A life that was supposed to and could have been something totally different , had I not made mis-interventions when I shouldn't have , and failing to make them when I should have. Finding its way from one mistake to another, it's just been a myriad potential loss.
Yes. I do have regret now in life. And the chief one of them is the weakness of never being able to say "no" in the first place and then not being a graceful loser eventually.
Alas , the ordeal continues. The mis-life has become a habit. And regrets the faithful companion.
yet the questions are more philosophical than that. "What is your most embarrassing moment?" , it asks. I don't truly remember what witty repertoires I must've signed on that question.But , maybe each moment of my self-discovery is more embarrassing than the previous.
"Do you have any regrets in life?" , it asks. I didn't then. I have a list now. Poignant with historical background of my life , I have to come to terms with all the mistakes I have made. Those were costly mistakes . Mistakes for which I continue to serve term. And maybe I always will.
It's a little odd that when for every trial there's a "mistrial" , when for every fire there's a "misfire" , but then there's no word to describe of what can be called my "mislife". A life that's gone horribly wrong. A life that was supposed to and could have been something totally different , had I not made mis-interventions when I shouldn't have , and failing to make them when I should have. Finding its way from one mistake to another, it's just been a myriad potential loss.
Yes. I do have regret now in life. And the chief one of them is the weakness of never being able to say "no" in the first place and then not being a graceful loser eventually.
Alas , the ordeal continues. The mis-life has become a habit. And regrets the faithful companion.
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