Saturday, September 15, 2018

A day of reckoning

Today, I helped my kid learn the art of signature. It was the first time that she signed on something. The day signifies the beginning of one's attestation to one's own decisions. A milestone in one's life.

Later, on the same form, there was a need to mention an emergency contact. I was debating whether it should be me or someone unrelated, because for all practical purposes an emergency would find all of us together, so it makes sense to say put out a number of our family in India? Well, then just to close the matter, I proceeded to put my own name on it.

It was then, that rather casually, my daughter made a statement. That her mom is more of a parent to her than I am. Because she attends more PTC than I do.

I think there's nothing childish about this line of thought. This is what we induce to. Our children day and night  Heck  she's been on a small level of rebellious behaviour i guess, what with the never ending forced off from school, given my frequent transfers and other such things. Yesterday she talked back to her mom about how it wasn't for her that she had woken up all night but for some selfish purposes and I followed  It up with a good lecture of how moms are the best friend to anyone. If we parents get into an argument, like everyone does, I silently ask my daughter to take her mother's side, because she needs the support more than I do. I am strong enough to manage, I tell her.

Anyway  so its perhaps quite right that she chose to verbally denounce my claim on her. It was a bit of a shock as it was pretty unprovoked... It was a rebel against patriarchy perhaps ? A rebel and a feminist! Quite a combination that would be.

At another level, I do fell a bit liberated. I have no remaining emotional encumbrances in this life than to provide enough money for my family. Life has come full circle. Long decades back I knew I was  far too fond of myself to love another person more than myself. It's a self fulling prophecy when others feel the same way!

PS : I didn't react to anything. What would I say!?